Wednesday, July 8, 2009

In which I have an alligator purse and don't get sunburnt

So, right now I'm really tan. I know, I know, you're so jealous! For some reason every summer I "forget" to put sunscreen on my face. The rest of my body tans, my face just turns red and peels. Apparently I have ungodly layers of peelable skin on my giant nose and my giant forehead. These are the only two places on my face that get red, the only two places that peel, and the only two places that stick out the farthest from the rest of my dome piece. Its tragic, really. Now here's a tragedy for you:
And you know what, thats all I have to say about it. Because there is nothing worse to me than a peeling nose, knowing that people see me and think quietly to themselves "I can't stop staring at Sarah's giant peeling nose". Because I know that's what I would do. Oh, and speaking of tanning, only the front side of me is tan. I'm like one of those half-moon cookies from upstate New York. One side's black, the other side's white. This is because I forget to roll over when I am outdoors. Such is my life!

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."
W. C. Fields

Monday, July 6, 2009

In which I wish I was wittier and do really cool things

So this weekend I found out that Rayne (Pronounced Renee. I know, fancy, right? I wish had a special spelling for my name. I've tried it before and it just doesn't work.) told everyone about my blog and they all had a grand ol' time reading it together. My first reaction of course was "Oh God, what did I write about?" and then second reaction was "Shit, I need to update again". And THEN, Lori said that I should write a book and I was like LORI I LOVE YOU because that is my dearest dream. Well, that and getting married, but whatever.

Sasstar BF'eff makes fun of me/loves me for how I come up with new career schemes on a weekly basis. Last week after I discovered I could make falafel, I was all "I could totally start my own mediterranean restaurant" and then this week I was all "I'm so organized and love weddings so much, I should be a wedding planner" and a couple weeks before that I was all "I'm so damn good at making this one website I could totally go into business for myself". Maybe someday I'll actually do something with one of my great ideas. Also, I think that Sasstar BF'eff should become a cooking teacher. She'd be really fancy at it.

Oh, so this past weekend a bunch of my favorite people and myself all went up to the Logcabinmansion in the Poconos, courtesy of Tom and Lori (who are of course included in the favorite people list). We did lots of fun things like hang out in the hot tub, eat bags of doritos, blow up car airbags, get in trouble for riding an ATV, go to a beach at a pond, make homemade mac and cheese, and lots of other things that only really cool people do. Also, I got a nice tan, which is very important to me. Astonishingly enough, the sunshine came out for the WHOLE weekend and is still out there. Which is annoying me now because guess where I am? Oh yeah, in my cubicle.

But its cool, tomorrow I have a computer class and then half day on Friday and then OCMD to stay at the Princess Bayside Hotel which has a pool on the ROOF.


"Things could always be worse; for instance,
you could be ugly and work in the Post Office."
Adrienne E. Gusoff