Thursday, June 4, 2009

In which I throw a Pretty Pretty Princess party and make a hate list

Currently, I am compling a list of things that I hate. Because there are a lot of those things and I feel compelled to share. However, the list is not complete and so I am not at liberty to divulge at this present time. I just realized that maybe I should also compile a list of things I love. I thought of 4 things really fast, and then couldn't think of anything else. I'm sure it will come to me, but keep in mind -- the hate list will probably be like waaaay bigger. And probably funnier.

Yesterday one of my BF'effers turned 25. And we threw her a suprise Pretty Pretty Princess party. I love surprising people and I love giving them presents and I love having parties for them. Its a thing. So I spent $40 at the party store (which was waaaay more than I had intended to spend but, you know, whatever) and got shit loads of pink princessy stuff.

I felt it necessary to tell the cash register-eer and the woman in line behind me that I was having a Princess party, in case they couldn't tell. The woman behind me said "Oh how nice! How old is your little girl?" And I said "Oh, tragically I do not have kids {here i almost inserted my speel about how i wish my boyfriend would just ask me to marry him already because im not getting any younger and i will be very angry if im an old mom and also whats the difference if you know you want to be with me forever then lets just do it and quit dragging it out already. But i didn't say any of that}. Its for my friend. She is turning 25." And the woman said "Oh my gosh, she is just going to loooove it! And you are just going to be a great mom someday, I can tell." I wanted to kiss her for that comment, but refrained.

So this particular BF'effer has a boyfriend and on the way over to the surprise party, he told her, very offishly, that he was sorry he didn't really do anything for her birthday but its not because he doesn't love her, its just that he doesn't really give a shit about anybody's birthday. My BF'effer promptly broke down into tears and almost refused to get out of the car to walk into the house. Thank sweet baby Jesus she did, we all yelled surprise and played Happy Birthday by the Ting Tings, and I pinned a princess button on her and crowned her the Princess of Delight and Enchantment with a plastic tiara, and then we played Pretty Pretty Princess Snow White Edition and ate pizza and drank champagne. I KNOW - we are a very fancy, grownup group of friends.

So anyways, the new apartment is shaping up very nicely. I still have a line of boxes/bags against one wall that is all decorations that I just don't feel like sorting out. The Princess BF'eff came over on Tuesday and I took her to visit Princess Sally Snickerdoodle the Swan.

(Apparently I have a thing for Princesses?)

My other BF'effer (Who I will heretofore refer to as my Sassstar BF'eff) and her boyfriend are coming to visit on Saturday! *insert my happy butt wiggle dance* We are going to a car show and going to the pool and Sassstar BF'eff doesn't know it yet because I keep forgetting to tell her, we are going to a Rib and Steakhouse for dinner. Also, I get to show off my apartment that has all matching bathroom items and a sparkly blue lamp.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

In which I write Random Tuesday Thoughts and love Amazon

I made dinner for the first time in the new apartment last night. Pizza. With only sauce and cheese because I forgot to take the pepperoni out of the old fridge. And I made pizza because the only thing I have to use for cooking in the oven is a pizza pan. Then this morning I was going to make eggs and toast for breakfast (gosh I know, I'm so healthy), only to realize that i have no pan for making said eggs, and that I still am not the owner of a toaster. They are coming in the mail soon! Thank you Amazon.Com and your Free Super Saver Shipping.

I watched Slumdog Millionaire last night. God knows I am the one person in the world that tears up over commercials with cute babies in them, but for this movie, only one lone tear dribbled down my cheek at the end when they kiss. That was it. To be honest, I was absolutely expecting a little more melodrama because I heard it made, like, everyone I know cry. Also, I predicted every single thing that happened. Not be whatever, but I mean I'm kind of a movie snob and I'm pretty good at guessing movie endings. To which the slumdog was no exception. That being said, it was a pretty good movie and I was impressed, even if it was lacking in the sobbing and suspense departments.

Something that really irritates me is people who don't update their blog. I mean, I understand a few days. I even understand a week. But, a month? Why even bother having one? And now, every single day, I check your blog hoping for updates on your boring life to keep my own a little more thrilling...but nothing. But then I can't not click your blog every day because you know as soon as I stop checking, you will start updating again and I will miss out on very important things, like how your kid won't wear pants or how you saved .34 cents on a jar of kidney beans. Hello, I added you to my faves for a reason. I have concluded that those of you who are guilty of this are a bunch of stuck up sasses who obviously have far more important things to do with your lives than I do and quite frankly, I don't need to be reminded. Maybe I will delete you from my faves tomorrow...after I check for an update one last time.

Michael, (my main mc in da hood a'ight), told me last night he is thinking about quitting baseball. To which I inwardly gasped and outwardly sweetly and concernedly said "Oh, really?". Lets get one thing straight. Michael loves three things in this world - baseball, cars, and me. Hopefully not in that order. So I nonchalantly (this was very difficult for me because baseball cuts into my fun summer activities and leaves me very lonely during the summer and there is nothing I would love better than to have him not play baseball. Plus I always feel obligated to go to his games which is a bummerrrrr because I sit by myself in the hot sun and think about all the things I would rather be doing - like being dead or having nails jabbed into my ears.) asked why he was considering such a thing and his reasons were 1.) it takes up too much of his time 2.) he spends lots of money on gas driving to all the games b/c they are always in outlandish foreign places, and 3.) he wants to be able to work more because he needs money for "our future".

So then he says not only does he want to quit baseball, but he also wants to get a 2nd job (which I thought was a horrible idea, but didn't say this because you have to let them think they came up ideas on their own) so I gently and unobtrusively mentioned things until he figured out that he should work more hours at Pep Boys/get his hours switched because he would make more money doing that than he would unloading trucks two days a week or waiting tables for like 2 or 3 shifts. Also, if he had 2 jobs and worked every single hour of his life, he would be the crankiest person I know and that's pretty much just unacceptable to me. I think I should get some brownie points for telling him what to do without him knowing it. Or at least a chocolate cake. With chocolate frosting. And chocolate chips. And chocolate sprinkles.

At my work there is a robot mail truck. His name is Sedrick. Its written on the side with a giant picture of a man with spectacles. Yes, I said spectacles and no, I can't make this shit up.

So, this has been a blogging first for me. Thanks to The Un Mom for letting just anyone join in. Gosh golly gee I hope I did ok!


Monday, June 1, 2009

In which I can't walk and drink copious amounts of coffee

Let me begin by stating that Michael and I are 1) impatient 2) determined 3) goal oriented. These are mostly admirable qualities. On Saturday we signed a lease for our new apartment, which was pretty damn exciting. Our original plan was that we would move a few things in, then slowly move everything in and start living there June 13th. On Friday night, we decided we would move in over the course of this week and start living there June 6th. On Saturday night, we decided that we should move everything in over the course of 24 hours and start living there yesterday.

This we did, because as previously stated we are very 1) impatient 2) determined 3) goal oriented. However, we are also a little bit prissy and don't ask for help. So we moved everything all by ourselves. Currently I am suffering from Sorebackitis, Donotusemylegs Disease and Half-Opened Eye Lid Syndrome.

But on the bright side, it is with great pride that I live in my new place, even if it is a little small. I took many jumps for joy inside my head while moving out, thinking of how I would never again face to flights of stairs or try to fit my food in the freezer or wonder what happened to all the toilet paper that I bought. Also my Kittywhoisnamedkitty seems to be pretty happy in the new place. However, I'm worried that she is going to get fat and pissy now that she can't explore the outdoors. Fat and/or ugly animals are embarassing to me. My cat is neither, but if she turns into a fatty I will be very put out. Damn you, 2nd floor apartment.

Also - in our complex, there is a lake. In the lake, there lives a swan. It was deemed necessary to name this swan. Thanks to the process of naming an animal that doesn't even belong to us, I don't think I ever want to name a child. It took us a half hour of arguing - I was partial to Princess Matilda Olivia Jane. Michael rolled his eyes at me and then recommended Queen DeepThroat, because he thinks it probably could. Men. In the end, the only name we both agreed upon was Princess Sally Snickerdoodle the Swan. So that is its name, and God help my future children.