Wednesday, June 10, 2009

In which I dream about McDonalds and also bitch about the swine flu

I feel stressed and all I want to do is eat 5 bacon egg and cheese biscuits from mcdonalds and snuggle on the couch with all the curtains closed and watch 47 episodes of Friends. Tragically, my life is not this awesome. I am doomed to a life of misery and pain and suffering while working 8-5 every day. Not really, but, you know. My job is actually pretty good, just not when I have so many other better things I can think of to do. Like watch Friends on the couch. That, or...

You know, that is pretty much the best thing I can think of right now. Its still raining (stop already, for the love of christ) and I don't want to shop, I don't want to cook, I don't want to clean, I don't want to decorate, I don't want to exercise, I just want to watch Friends.

Sometimes I want to be allowed to walk around in my bare feet when I'm at work. I always have my shoes off in my cubicle. And then, when I have to get up, I have to put the damn things back on again. Life would be all sunshine and roses if only it was socially acceptable to walk around in your bare feet. Speaking of, why is that? Its not like having your feet out of your shoes is public indecency. I paint my toenails, I remove the stray hair or two that grows on my big toe. My feet are just fine. I don't really see what the big deal is if I walk over to the printer with no shoes on. Sigh. Such is my life.

I would now like to discuss the swine flu if you please. If you have bought into this utterly ridiculous media sensation, you are stupid. Yes, I said it. Please consider several facts, which I have gathered from The Center For Disease Control, because I was just that interested and a little bored:

1. The 'regular' flu kills 36,000 people in the US every year
2. The 'regular' flu kills between 250,000 and 500,000 people worldwide every year.
3. The 2009 swine flu, as of June 5, has killed 27 people in the US.
4. The 2009 swine flu has killed around 130-150 people worldwide.

Can I rest my case?

Ok, here's some more. The swine flu also had an outbreak in 1918 and in 1976. Do you know what the 1976 outbreak is called? "The Swine Flu 1976 Debacle". Some doctor got it into his head that he should declare a national pandemic and get the entire country vaccinated. And then people died from the vaccinations, not from the flu. This whole thing is so ludicrous I can't understand it. And what I am even more baffled by is that even though everybody I know thinks the "epidemic" is ridiculous, the media is still making it look like everyone is concerned. Oh media, you and your ulterior motives!...I wonder what Al Gore has up his sleeve this time? Oops, and now, I've said too much. I digress!

So if you are looking for something that's actually funny to read, check out The Psychology of Bumper Stickers from Mandy. I got a kick out of it, anyways.

"Life's disappointments are harder to take
when you don't know any swear words."
- Calvin & Hobbes

1 comment:

Logical Libby said...

It's raining here, and has been for days. That definitely raises the "just want to watch Friends" factor... I'd even watch the last season.